How to Run a Short-Term Rental Business With Your Spouse (and Make It Work)

0:00How have the goals evolved since we first got married back 2015? So, it's been almost 11 years since we were married. And so, what does that What does that look like? And then what what is our goal setting or goal planning process look like together? — Yeah. So, how have they changed? I mean, I think when we started doing this, it was like, "Sweet, we can have some extra cash in our pocket." Like I didn't foresee us being like what's You probably did, but again, I'm like the person who is like "What's for dinner?" at 5:00 p.m.

0:36Every day. And that's my job. So, see this being a huge business when we started working on it together. Maybe you did. But I think I thought, "Oh, extra cash in our pockets to take our kids on vacation or to, you know, show them different experiences or or whatever it was." I never envisioned it could support this lifestyle. And I think that's where it's evolved. It's like we aren't big like I We live in a small house.

1:09We live in a 160-year-old house. We have Our kids are we have four kids. The boys are sharing a bedroom. The girls are sharing a bedroom. We've never been super materialistic, I wouldn't say, but we do really like experiences. We like traveling. We like exposing our kids to different things. And so, I think it evolved from this is some extra cash in our pocket to holy cow, this can feed our family and pay our mortgage to wow, now we can like It's It sounds cheesy, but like it's limitless.

1:41You know what I mean? So, like I feel like right now like our kids are in Montessori school, and we're looking at building a school once they're out of Montessori school with other parents. And I'm like, we have now the means, the time to do this, the funds to do it, and the group of people who want to make it happen. And like, now we're going to literally like we're changing our kids' lives for their whole education. And so, we're taught we live on a farm. Like, we're talking about building a farm school.

2:12And it's like, when we first redid our basement, I wasn't like, "Oh, I'm going to be living on a farm and raising 70 chickens and four kids and goats and whatever else." and now it's just kind of like, what do we want to do like the world is our oyster? I mean, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's like I I feel like our goals now are like, how do we provide the best opportunities for our kids where they can learn what they really like to do and then potentially create businesses out of what they like to do.

2:43Like, how do we make this so it's super beneficial for their long-term goals. And so, and then on top of that, it's like, — [sighs] — train of thought crashed again. — — Well, I think that that the key was for us that initially I mean, we we talked about that we'd like to live on a farm someday. You know, we we had like sort of and I think for a lot of people that's the hard thing about goal setting is like, they want it to be either crystal clear or they just come up with milestones.

3:17It's like, I want a million dollars in my account. Or like when you say, "Well, what do you want your days to look like?" And they're like, "Well, I can't come up with an exact." So, they don't come up with anything. And and we had a general idea of what we wanted our life to look like, how many we talked about how many kids we wanted to have and like spending time with them and not, you know, hopefully having corporate jobs someday when we were married. And this is before we had kids. And so, I think we had a a general idea of what we were working toward and then we were able to take steps toward that and it crystallizes a lot more as you go.

3:49— and but like when we now, like we every every January, you know, we sit down and we go through our goals and talk about what we want and we say all the time, not just in January, we say all the time to each other, like we we just feel blessed we're living our ideal life. And so, it becomes harder to set goals cuz we don't have material things that we want. When we sit down, it's not like, "Oh, I want to buy the the next Bentley." Like we could care less about that. But, I think it becomes more of like how to live each day more fully in a line with like who we are, you know, and what what's going to make us happiest.

4:29— Yeah. — Yeah. — Yeah, and I think too a lot of that has to do with like I mean, you're the person who taught me you were like, "What do you want your day to look like?" And I'm like, "What the heck are you talking about?" Like, I don't — — know what that means, you know? It's like most people you speak with too about this whole process, you're like, "What's your goal for this?" And they're like, "I want an extra 500 bucks a month." And you're like, "Okay, so what does that provide you?" And they're like, "What?" And you're like, "What what does that 500 bucks to go towards?" And they're like, "I don't I don't know." And that's how like I was like, "Why are you asking these questions? I don't get it." But, it is like so important to start with your end goal.

5:02And your end goal should be like "What do you want your everyday to look like?" Like, "I want to wake up, I want to move my body, I want to eat breakfast with my kids, I want to play with them, I want to you know, like make your goals, make your ideal day, and then okay, how much money do I need to get that day?" And then you work backwards from it. Like that is the smartest thing you've ever taught me. I mean, I shouldn't say that, but like it is such a smart way to do it because it's like so many people think this amount is going to make me happy. And it's like that amount is just an arbitrary number you pulled out that you think it sounds good to have extra money for.

5:40And like I never would have known what that number looked like if I didn't know I I to stay home with my kids, I want to eat every meal with them. I want to see my husband like for every meal every day. You know, it's just it's cool to work backwards cuz you then you know when you've hit your goal basically. — Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, and and also recognize that you go through phases — [snorts and clears throat] — and and seasons like this morning like, you know, we've been in this situation with our youngest, you know, we have a four kids now and so the the the fourth one Kai is nine months and — 10 today.

6:16— 10 today. Like I said, and he — — he's not sleeping, you know, so like he's been going through teething and just you know, up constantly and so Terrence took taken the the brunt of that still nursing and everything and so you know, she's up all night. So I'll try to like take him early in the morning and let her sleep for a while. So it's like not the ideal setup where we're both just getting out of bed well rested and you know, all the kids are at the breakfast table or anything like that. Like you got to adjust as you go, but because we've built up enough margin and and you know, it's not like we have to show up to a demanding 60-hour a week job.

6:58— Right. — We have the flexibility to do that and I think that's you got to start somewhere to get eventually to that point. — Right. And we do have like a really good village. Our families jump in all the time and we do have like because of what you've built numbers wise with this business, I can call the babysitter and be like, I didn't sleep all night. Can you please come over? You know, and so Kirby takes him in the morning, I sleep for a few hours and then you know, if I need a babysitter, I can call her and hope she's available, but it's nice not stressing about things that we would be stressing about otherwise, you know, if we had 9-5 jobs where we were like, how am I going to function?

7:36I mean, I remember going Rex, our oldest, didn't sleep for 13 months. And going to work and I was working in PR for a school and talking to news reporters and like the words just would not come out of my mouth. Like I could I was hunting for words constantly because I wasn't sleeping. And I remember coming home being like, I can't do this. And that's when we started with the basement and I was like, holy cow, I don't have to do this. So, it's a good relief. — Yeah. So, there's some some I guess specific questions around your role.

8:09So, you you primarily focus on setting, you know, designing our our short-term rentals after we we purchase them. And then also a lot of refining the communication. That's the great thing is like you know, you are primarily with the kids during the day, but you still have access to the messages. You can see how our team, we have four full-time team members that are managing the day-to-day, but you can still oversee it. You can jump in here and there. And so, I guess what is your your I guess best advice in terms of of those two roles.

8:47Like what is what is it that that where is the the time best focused for you when you're thinking about either setting up a short-term rental or refining that that communication? — I don't know if I understand the question. — So, so, you know, well, here's here's a better way to frame it, I guess. — Okay. — How do you handle crazy guests, emergency situations, or problems that pop up, which they they do on when you own short-term rentals.

9:19So, I think that could get overwhelming for a lot of people. So, we'll focus on the communication side of things. Like, what what do you do so that that doesn't become a major problem? — Right. I think the more you do this, the easier it gets. I think a lot of people think the guests they're hosting or the situation they're having is unique when it's something that's insane. It's not unique. We've had many of the same situations over and over that you would never think.

9:50We screen our guests really good, number one. So, when you screen them really well, it's prevents a lot of those situations from happening. But you know, we're hosting 150 to 200 people at any given moment. So, there's going to be a problem at at least one of the properties at any given moment. And so, if you're the type of person I think I used to be the type of person who would freak out over that. Like I mean I could tell you 100 stories right now in terms of like awful stuff that has happened.

10:25— But you just I and I say awful, I mean we literally had raw sewage coming up from a drain pipe on Thanksgiving day in one of our properties. I like lost my mind. I was like, "Oh my gosh, what are we going to do?" For the record, we handled it and we still got a five-star review, which is insane. — — But I think the longer you do this the more these crazy situations happen and you just learn like you can't stress about everything.

10:57I don't think I'm answering this correctly. — I think I I think that's a great point cuz I think you start to realize number one it's temporary. Like these guests are going to leave. You're not going to talk to them again. So, even if they're a pain in the the butt guest, you don't have to worry about it after they check out. And then number two, like you can't I think a lot of people like count their eggs before they're hatched or is that how you say it? — Yeah, I think so. — — We're farmers. We should know. — Count their chickens before they're hatched.

11:29— Wilder eggs, they count them as chickens. We have chickens. But so so like you're you're like, "Okay, this this property is going to bring in X amount of money." And so the first thing that happens, you're like, "Oh, no, it's a disaster cuz now I'm not making that much money." But you also you can't predict all those things. So like we just recently had our biggest booking ever, I think. You know, almost a $30,000 booking on one unit in a five-unit property.

11:59And that was for like 6 months. So we did not project I mean we projected for that whole year that we should make about 25 grand on this this unit. And we did it, you know, in half the time. And And so that was a great, you know, cuz it's off-season. Like it was a great booking to get. And then at the same time you you'll have something where it's like we had to cancel a guest on 4th of July that was the you know, our our biggest weekend booking and the the power went out. And so we had to just refund them. It wasn't our fault, but we had to refund the guest.

12:32And so you can't stress out about the $3,000 you left lost from that booking because you know there's going to be a positive on the other side. And so you get used to those. — Right. And I will say too, it's like the things that stick out in your mind the most are like the negative things. That's like humans are wired for like survival. And so when you think about your best reviews you've ever gotten out of, you know, thousands of stay versus your worst I can name five terrible ones we've gotten. But I can't name one of the top five best ones we've gotten because you just kind of — We have thousands.

13:08— Yeah, we have thousands. I mean like I literally can tell you the names of the people who wrote them for us. Like And so That's why. You know, I But I don't stress about them anymore. Like I you get to the point now this sounds terrible. Like you see a message pop up that's like something crazy and you just like you kind of laugh and that's not to like minimize the guest experience, but a lot of times it's like my way of dealing with like this is I can either make this incredibly stressful for myself when I have no control over it or I can just be like, well, this is happening.

13:42What are we going to do? And we kind of make a plan and hash it out and go through it and a lot of times I mean, 95% of the time the guest if they see you're doing your best to make their situation better and you're trying your best and you're jumping in when you need to and you want to make them comfortable and allow them to have a good time, they're understanding of that. 95% of guests are going to be understanding of that. There is a small percentage of guests who are going to be livid and there's nothing you can do to please those people. And so you just have to say, "I'm sorry this was your experience. I wish we could have done more.

14:14Here's what we did to try to remedy in it remedy the situation. I know it didn't, you know, work the way we'd want it to. Here's a partial refund or here's whatever it is." and I would say that is like the most stressful part of doing this is like I want to provide families with like great spaces to enjoy their own families because that's what people remember. Like they did a study on kids. I've referenced this before, but like they did a study where they asked kids, you know, what are your main memories that stand out from when you were a kid and like 90% of the time it's vacations they took.

14:49And so I think knowing we're creating spaces where families can enjoy each other is such a cool responsibility to have and it's like we get to do this. Like we get to make these families spaces where they can enjoy their their own families. And that is super exciting. So when they don't have a good experience, I think it stinks. It's like you know, like you can take it hard or you can learn from it and you can grow and you can send them some of their money back and say, "We're so sorry. Please go get breakfast on us." You know, but I think, you know, if you have integrity and you try to create value for somebody who's on vacation and you try to give them a good experience, so much of the time people are thankful, especially when things that go wrong that are outside of your control.

15:35Yeah. — when you try to make things right. So, we try to do that, you know, I'm never going to have something go wrong and be like, "Sorry, can't do anything about it." You know, like we do the right I I offer the guest exactly what I would want as a guest if it were if the situation were reversed. So, not that, you know, breakfast money or coffee money is necessarily going to fix their Wi-Fi being out for an hour, but hopefully it'll lessen the sting. — Yeah, and I think having that mindset of why [clears throat] you're doing like that that we're creating these experiences and that's what really gets us excited in addition to the fact that this can obviously provide a really great lifestyle for you.

16:15I think that's key. Like cuz there's a lot of things out there that you can make money off of, but you wake up every day and you're like grinding through it or it's something that goes against your values and this is like it totally aligns. Like we love getting thousands of reviews of people saying, "This was amazing. Thank you for making our trip amazing." So, all right. So, how how about some personal questions now? — Oh. — — what is your best advice around maintaining a strong marriage in general?

16:48— your Kirby. Marry you. But you're taking — That's terrible advice. — I you said this to me like when we started dating, you said, "I think people have a hard time in marriage because they stop putting each other first." And I've always felt like as much as we work on business and stuff, I've always felt first with you. So, and I always try to make you feel like you're first, — — which I'm probably not great at, but you know, you go through hard times and good times in terms of like I mean lack of sleep with like a newborn is brutal and you've always been like really forgiving and and you don't make me feel like you're forgiving me either, but like you walk in the house and it's chaos and I'm answering

17:37A question from our group of students who have questions on how to handle a guest or whatever and there's no dinner on the table and the kids are like covered in chicken poop and running around naked outside and it's like — — and the house is a mess and I feel I'm like I have failed as a mom or as a wife or whatever it is, but meanwhile like so much of mom work is invisible that like people don't see it and so like I'm sitting there and it looks like I'm like this on my phone, but really I'm answering a question for our students. So like you've never walked in and been like, well, what's for dinner or like where's dinner or why are the kids a mess or like are you okay?

18:14Even though I clearly don't look okay. But you're like, hey, can I start making dinner? Like you're always just I think we're both team players and so it's not there's never like an expectation of like I mean, technically I guess there is like an expectation of certain roles, but like when we fail at our certain responsibilities occasionally we jump in and help each other instead of being critical. — Yeah, and I think it goes to your perspective I think perspective is absolutely everything. To from my like I thought about this like why does it work really well with us and it's like we've like we like I just said we say all the time like we we just feel so lucky that we get to live this lifestyle and and it's it's a perspective like I I guarantee there's lots of people that could live our exact life and absolutely be miserable, you

19:02Know? And and so it's it's just the feeling like you can kind of look at your situation and say, look at all the the things or you can look at all the good things, and you tell like I think you're you're delusional enough to to look at all my positive qualities and and focus on those, which you know, causes you to have a positive outlook, and then I have a positive outlook, too. Like because of you know, like it just you feed off each other. And so, I think if if someone maybe wasn't in you know, their version of of an ideal relationship.

19:40I I would That would be my advice. It's like look at you know, there there's so many examples around the world of situations you could be in. And if you have the perspective of man, I'm so lucky to be in this this situation and and living the life I'm living, it's amazing how the things start to just improve. — Well, and I think, too, like being aligned on your priorities. Like you and I have always had the same priorities. Like and you know, it's easy to be like, oh, I'm not materialistic or whatever, but like I really don't I just I don't feel like either of us have ever ever cared about like impressing people.

20:17Like I don't care.